October 14, 2010

Saying Goodbye...


Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell. ~Emily Dickinson

I have always loved that quote but never began to understand it until I began to lose loved ones and now it rings true in my mind and heart. After 11 years of nurturing and love I have to say goodbye to my best friend, Murphy.

The pain I feel right now is excrutiating and my heart is truly broken. That is the hell. However I would do it all over again, because his presence brought as close to heaven on earth as a human can know. By allowing me to love and care for him, Murphy became my teacher.

  • He taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. He loved me whether I was blonde or brunette, overweight or thin, cranky or happy. If we as humans could see past the physical and the occassional grumpy personalities or adversity we would be a lot better off.
  • I learned that his bladder  and stomach didn't care if my depression is in a horrible downswing and I didn't want to get out of bed. He had to be walked, he had to be fed. Just keep the basics going, at least, and he was content to lie by my side and let me cry. Some days that's all you have to give and it's okay.
  • Material items don't matter. Murphy was just as happy when we were younger living in a 585 sq. ft. apartment as he was in a house or in a condo. He didn't care how many toys he had or what the furniture looked liked. The important element was the company he kept. I will always remember that. Life's quality comes from who we share the experience with, not how much we acquired.
  • There is always room for one more. When Murphy was one, we got a kitten, Murphy loved him like his own. When he was a bit older we added another kitten and he loved her just as much and played with her. He always shares his food with dog friends that come over and share his mom. I tend to be closed off and like my space to myself. He taught me to be open to having others around, the experience can be so much sweeter if you do.
Groundbreaking? Profound? Not really. But he has been the love of my life and like all great loves we learn from them. I will miss him for the rest of my life but I will always smile at his memory with no regrets.

I love you little man.

12 comments:

Nielle said...

HUGS HUGS HUGS ~ losing a pet is comparable to losing a child. My deepest condolences - LOVE YOU.

Meredith LeBlanc said...

Murphy is such a little sweetie and dogs are, I think, a conduit to heaven. There were days and months I know Nicki was taking care of me instead of the me taking care of her. I can still feel her presence and cry from time to time, but my life was better because of her.

Much love to you...

Paukku said...

(((HUGS)))

I will miss my little deep-voiced BFF. I know he will be lounging in the 'cool side' of heaven.

rockgrrl said...

Sending some hugs your way girl, your post was full of love for your little guy.

~ Eileen

Semi True Torystellar said...

Honey, I know you are heart-broken, but as you say he's seen it all with you and loved you through it in a way that most humans couldn't.

I'm so sorry this shadow of sadness has had to enter your life. I know you'll carry him with you always in your heart.

Know that I am loving you and hugging you from afar. (((((Tali))))

Lisa said...

He will have very good company with my little friends who have passed. Tell him to look for Spenser the Wonder Dog, Pearlie Girl, and BooGhost.

Take care of yourself, okay?

Aleya said...

Oh honey :(

I have my little puppy Butter, and my heart heard everything you wrote loud and clear. Some day you'll be alright. Till then I'm here if you need anything.

- Aleya

Nicho said...

Oh, hugs and love to you. I spent today visiting where my Spidermouse was buried just a few months ago. I understand the pain and the love. Give Murphy a cuddle from me, triplewicky x

yogabird said...

You and your sweet Murphy are in my thoughts. Take comfort in knowing that you provided him with an immense amount of love and comfort during his long life. Sending good vibes to you both.

Elizabeth said...

I've been following you on Twitter for a long time and your last few days with Murphy caught my eye. This is one of the best blog posts that I have seen and having a dog that I love more than anything, my heart goes out to you. They teach us how to be the best people possible! May his memory always be with you.

--eclewis

Tali said...

I am so overwhelmed by all the sweet, heartfelt comments. Thank you all so much. I haven't been able to read them until today, just wasn't ready.

Thank you again. This exhibit of kindness means so much to me.

Amy C said...

Tali,

I'm so sorry for your pain. Sending you hugs. Beautiful post and beautiful love.