I remember early on in my teacher training, I felt a bit of the panic set in. Maybe I couldn't attend all the events, was I less of a yogini? Did that make me less qualified to teach? I brought up my fears and frustrations with my yoga mentor and Iyengar style teacher and she asked me, "why do you want to teach?". It took me a minute to respond, and then I said something that sounded very much like this,
Because yoga has changed my life. It's allowed me to live with depression in a way that feels sustainable and it has made the other aspects of my life easier, for lack of a better word. This is a gift and I want to share it. I want to make yoga accessible.She asked me to write it down. I did. We also talked it through a bit more and the gist was, attend the events and classes that were going to best serve me and my students at this time. While a wealth of knowledge is available it doesn't mean you have to devour it all at once. A teacher who has time to marinate and bring these new elements and skills is a lot better off than a teacher who is too exhausted and over exerted to absorb anything new.
I go back to that piece of paper every time I begin to waver. Recently I took on too much. Not that my goals were too big just too much for one person in a short amount of time. I refined my schedule, re-assessed my offerings as far a teacher and also within my consulting business. A huge weight has been lifted from me. I am happier, I am sleeping better, I have more energy. I sound like a perky commercial.
I recognize it's scary taking on new endeavors, both for myself and for my students. In order to honor them I have to honor myself. If you're evolving something in your life, beginning a new training program or project, or just want to do better for yourself I really encourage to put it down on paper. Write down the "Why". You're "Why" may change and develop and come back to its orginal iteration over time. However, in the darker times of doubt, worry, fear, the "Why" brings a bit of light to your path. After all, we can all use a little light to guide our way.